January 9th 1859

Sunday Jan 9th 1859

I will pass over the time spent in putting things to rights, the singing schools, lectures calls – – as I cannot remember them all but will only say they were spent in the same way. Jo and Mose coming home with Allie and I then next thursday night after the fire I had another little niece little Allie Louise a week ago. Last Thursday night Mose and Jo Smith were both at singing school and both started to come and see me but Mose got the start so Jo went back. Mose was going to Saracuse the next Saturday but said said he would come and see me the next night if he possiably could but told me not to expect him as he might not be able to come. But I told him if he did not come I should think it because he did not wish to. He said "could you think, Mary, I did not wish to come as much as I love you" but he did not come. Although he did not bid me good bye. Jo Smith also was to start for Michagan the next Monday. I have seen nobody since to ask whether he went or not. I have a dim rememberance of writing some time back something about Dee. I will now say what I meant as Dee is passed and nothing has happened. I concluded by Harvey's manouvering that he has made up his mind that Charlie Lindsey should flirt with me when he came home. While I made up my mind if he tried that game he would find himself checkmated, though I dont know but what it is vain for me to think so, yet I never tried to make myself agreeable to anyone (particularly so I mean) that I did not succead. But Charlie is come and gone without coming to see me, but I have an idea that I was not mistaken after all but that his stay was so short and Harve being gone he could not make it work. Willie S-  said beware of a wolf in sheeps clothing and I have done so. Harve used to say and still says he can read me like a book. He knows me as well as he does himself ,though it was so once it is so no longer. I am as false as he is and he knows nothing of when? I think I had forgotten to mention he is married. I have a great many thoughts of what I will do in the future but I say nothing now to anyone so I will not even write them for fear I shall not make things come as I wish yet I will say I will never marry until I have found some one who I think will be as smart, of as good family and who will be able to give me as good a home as he took me from. And I will not live either with his folks or mine. I am not romantic and I have my two sisters example so I do not think I will take up with any less that there things.