February 20th 1859

Sunday Feb 20^th 1859

A very dull week has this been to me nothing going on ---- and one day would be a ---- of them all so I will only say that I praticed, worked, Wednesday evening went to hear George Clark sing. Thursday went to singing school. Very few there. I did not even bow to Moses.

February 13th 1859

Sunday Feb 13^th 1859

Monday I had the tooth ache all night and it still continued to do so but I helped Ma wash notwithstanding. In the evening Mr Oslow Beebee and Lady Lib Cox and son Link, Carrie and Andrew and Julia Tuttle came. We all went up to the lecture but did not stay but a few minutes. Tuesday I made cake in the morning. In the Afternoon Maggie Richardson and Mother came to spend the afternoon. Mr? Judd and Lady called in the evening and we went up to the lecture. I shall remember May’s remarks some time. Wednesday made cake in the morning, had two calls. Charlie Cook came to see me, quite excited for fear I thought he could not get anyone to go with him. I had just succeaded in calming his agitated mind when I had another call another. Charlie wanted to me to go to the mite? Society but I declined on the plea of ill health. Jane Sherman called this afternoon and in the evening I was left alone as Allie went over to the mite Society. Thursday went to singing school. In the evening Mose and Joe were there. Jo came home with Allie but Moses did not have anything to say to me. Must think I care a great deal whether he ever makes up again or not. If he does not then I am well, out of it better then I expected to be for I did not intend to go with him much longer anyway and if he is the one to get mad so much the better for he will not know but what I intended always to be: good friends with him. But I very much fear if it had gone along two months longer, which is as long as I should have gone with him anyway, there would have been a good many hard feelings on his part. Friday we had our party. Mose brought Josie all night. I believe it is the very best thing which could have happened only it places me in rather a bad situation. Just now as I have nobody to go with. Saturday we worked all day putting things to rights again. Sunday went to church twice to our church and in the evening to the methodice. Also wrote a short note to Moses.

February 6th 1859

Henrietta Feb 6^th 1859

Last Sunday night Allie and I went over to meeting. Joseph and Moses were there. Moses was setting on his dignity and so we did not speak. Joseph came home with Allie. Monday we stayed at home and practiced. Tuesday Allie went to the city. In the evening we went up to hear George Washington L. Clark lecture. All his audiance went to sleep or whispered. Our two friends kept driving round the yard and stopping at the steps. Wednesday night we went over to Josie’s to visit with Jo R- and Maggie. Thursday night we went over to singing school. Joseph and Moses were there. Moses gave me a very distant bow and I had to come home with Jo and Allie. Jo gave Allie and I an invitation to go to Helen Pike’s party the next night and to go down to their house the next day. Friday we went down to Richardson’s and spent the day. In the evening we went to Pike’s. Moses came alone. He danced awhile opposite me and then asked me to dance with him. He was as good as could be. Asked me if we could not be friends any more, so we made up as good friends as ever and even a little better than usual. Had a very pleasant party though there was some there I did not fancy. Saturday stayed at home. I was almost tired to death as I danced most every set and it was twenty minutes to four when we got home. We called at the doctors, found Mrs Johnson (Manda Harmon) and husband there. Called also at Mrs Gooding Then called on Mrs Halsey. Willie** came up to night to stay over Sunday with us. Sunday went to church all day and over to the Methodice in the evening. Nobody there I cared about seeing but as I am very sleepy like ---- I must very good night

**Either her cousin or nephew

January 30th 1859

Henrietta Jan 30^th 1859

A bright beautiful sabbath morning. The mud is all froze up although we do not have any snow yet. Monday evening we attended the Temperance meeting. Joseph and Moses came home with us of course. Mose severed his visitation to go to Calvin’s and asked me if I had any objections to his taking Josie Smith. Of course I had not, as Josie and I were very good friends, but the more I thought about it the more I became convinced that Josie had the first visitation and he visited me because he felt under obligations to, especially after what Jo R- said last Wednesday. So I told Allie very positively that if any one else asked me I should go with them and if they did not anyone else ask me I should stay at home. But she [Allie] said she would go but if she was me she would go with somebody else. After she got there I fineally got ready to go, but when Jo came after her I was undesided whether to go or not. But they said they would not go a step unless I would promise to come with Mose, so after a while I told them I would. So they went telling me if I did not come with Mose they should come back after me. Very very cold was I when Mose did come. Never once did I speak to him except to answer his questions going down. But he seemed to feel bad so I went up stairs in a repentant mood, resolving to make up on one condition which was whether he asked me or Josie to dance the first set. Well when the time came he came up to Josie and I with George De Witt. I understood him to speak to Josie so I thought we can never be friends. But Josie told me to go when I looked up in some surprise and inquired if he spoke to me in my heart. I was very very glad but some of the old spirit prompted me not to let him know it, but to punish him yet more. I saw that he was angry and that he thought I asked so on purpose when he asked me to dance, but in that at least I was blameless. Still I was very silent. He did not ask me to dance again. I saw he did not intend to so I told him I had something to say to him. So we sit down in a corner by ourselves and talked. We were both angry, though I was half penitent. We finally partley settled it and I was on my good behavior. Wednesday evening Allie and I went over to the mite? Society at Mr Worthingtons. Jo R and Abb C- came. Jo said that Mose was over to the store but would not come. I though[t] perhaps there is two reasons why he would not. Spent a very pleasant evening. Thursday we went over to *Josephine’s. Went down and visited the school. I came back with Marve? and Allie as Josie went to singing school. Mose was not there either. I guess he has made up his mind to go nowhere I am.  Friday Josie asked us over there to make molasses candy, had a real pleasant time. Friday and Saturday evenings expected Mose but was disapointed. To day I have been to church all day and this evening we are going to Methodice meeting. If anything unusal should happen it would be quite a change for me. Took **Jenny to church to day. We a great time first I took her up gallery then she cryed so I carried her down to me Ma and sailed back. Then she cryed again so Allie promanaded out with her and back again.

*Mary's sister

**Josephine's daughter, Mary's niece.

January 23rd 1859

Sunday Jan 23^rd 1859
 

This week Allie and I have had something to fret about all the week. Monday morning Pa discovered that he had lost a hive of bees** and suspicion pointed very strongly to the Acadamy boys but after trying all day nothing could be found out, although no one doubted but what they could have told where the honey went to in the evening. Decker and Green called on us, came about five o clock and stayed till nine. Em Hocomb sent over after them. It seems that Miss Emily had a party and Ell Calvin would give her no peace until she sent for Decker. We spend a very pleasent evening. Tuesday evening Trenchard and Carney? spent the evening. They invited us to go to West Henrietta with them Thursday night. We told them we were partly engaged. Just after we went to bed we heard a great noise as If somebody ran across the walk and the next morning Ann? said that three fellows came up the walk and looked into the windows and then ran and that they looked very much like Jo , Mose, and M--- Neely. I hope they felt paid for their trouble. Wednesday evening Jo R- and Mose came to see us, was very curious that we should go over to West Henrietta and gave us an invitation to go down to Calvin’s  Friday. Allie gave them something of a talking to and told them we were very accommodating and we would go [to] Jack at a pinch. They stayed until eleven. Thursday we teased Ma, all to no purpose, to let us go to dancing school. So we finally went to singing school. Dora was over but Josie was not there. Wonder if she did not go over to the dance. Friday night there was a party over to Otis’s so the party down to Calvin’s was postponed. Joseph came in the afternoon to tell us of the change so we stayed at home for one evening but we felt very lonesome. Saturday evening we went over to the Methodise prayer meeting. No on there hardly to day. We went to quarterly meeting and listened to Rev Mr George. There was a good many there, had a very good sermon to night. We are going to hear him again and this ends another week and I ask myself as the gathering gloom of night draws around me have I done any good this past week. I am afraid not. God grant that I may in the coming one.

**Editor's Note: According to Mary's daughter, Bertha, he became an expert on the subject of bees and contributed much on the subject.

 

 

January 16, 1859

Sunday Jan 16th 1859

I have come to the to the conclusion that I will comence and let nothing prevent my writing once a week. At least this year the first I wrote bears date Aug 8^th 1856 most (almost) thrice years ago. Many the changes since then. Monday night Allie and I went up to the temperance meeting. Jo R- was there. He said Mose had come back but I could hardly believe it. Decker came home with me. We walked down the road as far (as) Aunt Debbie’s and came back home I was very glad. Mose had come back for reason that I mentioned before. Wednesday the ---- Society met at our house. There was a good many here both Afternoon and evening, Among others Mose and Jo R-. The first time I had seen Mose to speak to him since he came back although in the morning Allie called to me to come and see if it was not Jo and him going by, so we stood in the window in rather dishabille [disheveled] looking with all there our  eyes when they happened to look up and see us we made ourselves scarce very suddenly. Mose went to Port Byron. He says Ellen? Clapp is dead and Late Quackenbush is married but he was very cross and was as mad at me as could be for which he assigned as reason that I thought more of Marshal Decker than anybody else in the world. But I can hardly believe that is the reason, it is so very silly. Thursday night we went up to the Academy to an oyster supper and danced till twelve, had a very nice time indeed. I expect Mose will be worse than ever, we went with Decker. Friday went over to Josie’s to an Oyster supper, had a pleasant time. In the evening called on Mr Chapin. Saturday call at Mrs Worthingtons, had a great deal to say about the dance at the Academy or as she styled it "the ball". She did not make much out of us. Today we have been to church all day.

January 9th 1859

Sunday Jan 9th 1859

I will pass over the time spent in putting things to rights, the singing schools, lectures calls – – as I cannot remember them all but will only say they were spent in the same way. Jo and Mose coming home with Allie and I then next thursday night after the fire I had another little niece little Allie Louise a week ago. Last Thursday night Mose and Jo Smith were both at singing school and both started to come and see me but Mose got the start so Jo went back. Mose was going to Saracuse the next Saturday but said said he would come and see me the next night if he possiably could but told me not to expect him as he might not be able to come. But I told him if he did not come I should think it because he did not wish to. He said "could you think, Mary, I did not wish to come as much as I love you" but he did not come. Although he did not bid me good bye. Jo Smith also was to start for Michagan the next Monday. I have seen nobody since to ask whether he went or not. I have a dim rememberance of writing some time back something about Dee. I will now say what I meant as Dee is passed and nothing has happened. I concluded by Harvey's manouvering that he has made up his mind that Charlie Lindsey should flirt with me when he came home. While I made up my mind if he tried that game he would find himself checkmated, though I dont know but what it is vain for me to think so, yet I never tried to make myself agreeable to anyone (particularly so I mean) that I did not succead. But Charlie is come and gone without coming to see me, but I have an idea that I was not mistaken after all but that his stay was so short and Harve being gone he could not make it work. Willie S-  said beware of a wolf in sheeps clothing and I have done so. Harve used to say and still says he can read me like a book. He knows me as well as he does himself ,though it was so once it is so no longer. I am as false as he is and he knows nothing of when? I think I had forgotten to mention he is married. I have a great many thoughts of what I will do in the future but I say nothing now to anyone so I will not even write them for fear I shall not make things come as I wish yet I will say I will never marry until I have found some one who I think will be as smart, of as good family and who will be able to give me as good a home as he took me from. And I will not live either with his folks or mine. I am not romantic and I have my two sisters example so I do not think I will take up with any less that there things.

January 8th 1859

Saturday Jan 8th 1859

I can scarsely believe it possiable on turning to my Diary to find that it is over a month since I have written a word. But it has been a busy month to me. Just two weeks after we went to Newton's several weeks after George Halsey's party and a year since the part over to Quimby's, we went over to Ladds. I with Moses and Allie with Jo. We all went together. Jo Smith brought Agnes. He asked me to dance with him. He says to me as we stood on the floor together,"I am not happy to night Mary. I can never see you more except as we meet so for every time I see you I love you more". I talked to him kindly but as I would to anyone on indifferent subjects. I saw that he was disapointed but I thought it was for the best. He kept watch of me every time I spoke to Mose. I had a very pleasant time. Long shall I remember a talk I had up on the ---- . Monday morning after it we we awoke by crys of "fire" and spring [out] of our bed half awake. We found the **Hotel afire. Allie had some idea of going to over to awake her father and Willie before she dressed herself for fear they would burn up, but finally dressed ourselves and went over to Josie's and began to carry out things as they said the whole of that street would go. The wind blew so strong that way. After carring [carrying] out all of the things the wind changed, so they were able to save the house but in less than an hour all that belonged to Mr White were burned up. After consoling poor Mrs White and looking at the fire we came home, climbing over furniture to get there and then climbing over a medley of things, poured on the floor to find a seat to wait for light enough to come to see to carry things back again.

**Editor's note: Mary wrote at the top of the page "Josie lived on Corner across from hotel"

December 6th 1858

Sunday Dec 6th 1858

Last Monday attended Mr Giletts lecture on astronomy, went with Jo- and Allie, Julia and Elliot Tattle, and Carrie called on us before the lecture. Wednesday night went to another of the course, came home very independantly alone because I would not come with Allie and J-. Tuesday evening went over to Mr Whites and played for them all the evening. Mr Harte? came home with us. Thursday evening Decker called on us and we went up to singing school. Mose and Jo came home with us. Friday night went to the lecture. Mose and Jo spent the evening after the lecture with us. Saturday evening there [was] another lecture by Enoch Williams but Allie and I concluded we did not want to go. Today it has rained all day most and as Ma was sick we all stayed at home. But I am so tired of haveing nothing to do that I shall go another time. Report say's Harvey is going to be married soon next week. I believe to look at my first writings in this book anyone might think that prehaps I would regret it, but it is not so. Of all of his friends I would be the first to wish it was so. A strange thing is the human heart. His is [a] very deceitful one. I have learned to know him well in the last year and it has not improved him very much in my opinion.

November 28th 1858

Nov 28th 1858

It is a week to day since I wrote before. Monday I was nineteen.  In the evening I went to the Lecture with Moses, Allie with Joseph. But when we got up there Joseph said he should not go in and as M always does as he does, we went in alone and left them on the steps . They came in in a few minutes looking very sheepish. I had quite a time telling Mose he was ashamed of me. They came in and staid till twelve making up. I shall remember shadow's on the wall some time- first advances to a reconcitation [reconciliation] – – Wednesday night went to singing school. Josie, Dora, Jo, Greeny?, Marie and George were there. Of our far off friends, J- and M- came home with us. Thursday night singing school again. Again J- + M- came home with us. Friday night went over to the --fair with Link. By it was a regular Arab street bass? I had some fun talking with George Hodges. Saturday night Jo S- made me a visit he said he should not come to see me again untill he had learned to think of me only as a friend, that he loved me better the more he saw of me. To day I have been to church half a day and slept the other half.

 

 

November 21st 1858

Nov 21st 1858

Friday I attended Mrs Beebee's funeral. The sermon was be [by] Mr. Worthington assisted by Mr. Judd and Mr. Me? Gessold. Mr. A. J. Warner took charge of the singing . In the evening, Allie and I went up to the Lecture, met Jo R- in the hall and went and took a walk. Harvey and Jo R came home with us. They came in a [and] made us quite a visitation. Harvey is trying to do something but I have not yet made up my mind what that something is. But of one thing I am quite sure: he is deceitful and cannot be a very good friend to any girl. Of the boy's, I cannot say.

Thanksgiving, November 18th 1858

Thursday Nov 18th 1858 Thanksgiving

It is some time since I have written but there has been a good deal of change in this short time since I wrote last. There has been a bridal and one who then was in the full enjoyment of health has sicknened and died. To morrow the grave will close over all that remans (remains) of Mrs Elenore Beebee. She leaves a large circle of friends to mourn her loss. Last night we were invited to Laura's. Unfair but it was postponed on account of Mrs Beebee's death. Singing school has comenced again and we have a lecture by Mr Gillet twice a week. Monday night Allie and I went with Decker and Beckwith. Jo R- and Moses came from singing school with us, they both went off mad. Jo S- came to see me last Friday and I found I was mistaken when I wrote that to meet would be painfull to us both. We had a very pleasant visit never but once was I reminded that there was any difference in our meetings. I was plagueing him and he spoken so sorrofully and said "Dont plague me to night Mary. I have enough to bother me now". It sobered me in a minute and he spoke again, "Did I make you feel bad Mary? dont ,you are not to blame". I told him to forgive me but I forgot the past.  He seemed so very gay then he spoke bitterly and said he truly had much to feel merry about to day. We all went over to Mr White's to dinner had a very nice dinner. To night I am writing while Ally is playing, feeling very lonesome if I am not mistaken because Jo dont (didnt?) come? She will feel different if I am not mistaken three years from now but I must practice. Good night.

November 6th 1858

Sunday Nov 6th 1858

It is a week since I have written anything about my doings. It has been a monotonous lonesome week. There has been nobody to see us but once when Decker called. Moses is mad and of course Jo S- comes no more. I am almost inclined to ask him to come again but I cannot but call it a weakness for such a meeting could but be painful to us both. It would be doing him an injustice that I would not do to him for I feel a greater friendship for him that anyone else. Yet I can never be anything but a friend to him for I have a greater duty to preform to my parents. I am their youngest and only remaining child and I shall never marry without their free and full consent. Yet in the time I have been with him I have learned to respect- I had almost said love him, though I should not say that for I never did love.

New Picture of Mary!

I just made an amazing discovery in my parent's basement! There had been a box of old family pictures down there that my grandparents had given to us. I knew they were there, but I did not have the appreciation for family history at the time to look at them. I decided to finally look through the box last night, and lo and behold! We happened to have a picture of Mary and even a picture of her daughter!

:) :)

October 31st 1858

Sunday Oct 31st 1858

Went to church all day and sung up stairs. I have not see Jo since that eventfull night and I have got over feeling so very bad as I did the next day. Moses has not been to see me. I am very glad I did not go to the party. Whether he ever gets over being mad or not it makes no difference to me. I guess he never did get over the slight to his dear L----?

 

October 29th 1858

Friday Oct 29th 1858

I had agreed to go to George Halsey's to a surprise party to night with Moses but I altered my mind and would not go whereupon Moses was very angry. I suppose he thinks he made me feel very bad but thank you, I don't care whether you are pleased or not, Mr Cornell.

 

Editor’s Note: *Mary’s sister Josephine married Daniel Halsey, possibly George’s brother.

October 18th 1858

Saturday Oct 18th 1858

It seems as if I was always doing wrong. To night Allie and I went down to Carrie's to meet Laura Beebee, Link and Newton. But Jo and Moses came after us to go riding and so we went off with them thereby making Carrie very angry, but we had a pleasant ride.

October 17th 1858

Friday Oct 17th 1858

Saturday Allie and I went over to Dora’s, Josie was there to meet us. We had a very pleasant visit. Sunday Josie and Dora came over to go to church with us, went to the Methadice (Methodists) in the morning. In the afternoon, listened to brother W-. In the evening, Harve came to see me. Allie and Ma went to church. Had a very pleasant visit with him. To night Jo came to see me and I told him to forget me or only remember me as a sister. May God forgive me for the pain I caused him yet he forgave me all and we parted friends. I felt bad and bitter. Bitter tears I shed that night. Tears of regret as I thought of the past .May he be happy and may Our Heavenly Father deal gently with him.

October 15th 1858

Friday Oct 15th 1858

To day I have been at work all day and to night we all are going up to *Carries. I think I can turn back to my last spring writings now but I cannot with as free a conscience as I did then. December will tell if it is not changed, still again will I wound where I would give but pleasure. Yet I believe in spite of my faults I have many friends. May I always have as many. But I am doing very wrong by giving **M- every reason to think I care a great deal for him, when I do not care anything. I fear we shall not part friends.

 Editor's note: * Her sister

                ** Moses

October 14th 1858

Thursday Oct 14th 1858

Monday night Allie and I went walking with Decker, went down to Mr Beebee’s and back . Had a very pleasant . Tuesday, went down to Carrie’s and Moses came to see me in the evening. He was quite angry with me because I called Allie in (on?) Wednesday staid at home like good children and had no company. Thursday, I went up to take my music lesson. Had a talk with Decker from the third story. In the evening Decker came to see up (us) and Jo Smith stayed until one o clock. We had a very nice little talk and I did get him to tell me some things and if I could not get him to tell me all. I’ll remember Sammie and *Agnes. I may stand in her way again if she makes remarks and as for Samie (Sammie) when I get time, I’ll flirt with him to pay him off. It will do him good I’m certain.

Editor's note: Agnes has the crush on Jo Smith. (...Its hard to keep up :) )

 

October 9th 1858

Saturday Oct 9th 1858

I feel very lonely to night. Why I know not ,for I have no reason for feeling so. Tuesday night, Allie and I went out riding. Allie with Jo R- and I with Jim H-, very much to my displeasure and it would have been still more so if it had not been so very pleasant and we had White's horse and carriage so that I could take my ease, and I did not trouble myself much about making myself agreeable. Wednesday, Jim and Decker came to see us and went up to the Academy with us to look at the constellations. I had a very nice little talk with Decker and shall remember his saving word? out at the back door and talking with me some little while.  Sunday evening Jo Smith called. I am not forgotten by any means I guess. He comes to see me again Thursday.

Pictures of Mary's Diary

It's in remarkable condition for being 155 years old.

You can see the type of penmanship she had.



It can get tricky to read sometimes.

October 4th 1858

Oct 4^th 1858 Home

Calls for the week: Monday night, Messers Decker and Hopkins. Wednesday night, Decker and Quimby, Friday night, Decker and Quimby besides Mr Decker coming twice home with Allie to keep the rain off of her and Saturday, Jo R and Moses. To day Allie and I went twice to church but was so sleepy we could not keep awake so we took a nap in the afternoon. I shall remember Saturday night some little time and all that was said on the sofa in the parlor. I have written that some many time and in the last year will all of sceanes? be remembered! My heart answeres they will and many times in the lapse of years be they years of sorrow or of joy I will think of these happy sceans (scenes) in this my happy girlhood home and of the many Sunday nights also. For always on the quite (quiet) sabbath evening I think of the past and I always silently thank my Heavenly Father for dealing so gently with so wicked a creature as I. And for leaving her her earthly comforters, her parents, while he takes away so many others. No one know that beneath a careless exterior I hid(e) a warm and loving heart and those that I I love dearly will Our Father in heaven guide me softly through life and when I at last sleep my last sleep, may I join my Brother in Heaven.

 

Editor's note: Her brother Elihu Wheeler Kirby died at 7 years of age in 1852. Mary was 13 years old.

October 3rd 1858

Oct 3^rd 1858

How many times in this same year have I written of different ones not in this book. Have I written so much. But in my memorandam I find dated March 10^th Jo Smith spent the evening, that is, staid until one of two o clock. Ma is anxious?  to know what we find to talk about, he comes so much. March 11^th Jo S- spent the afternoon and evening with me I --- - horses had to stand out all day most but Jo had to wait for some work that was done in the afternoon. March 12^th Jo came to see me to night. Spent the evening, had a very nice little talk. Libbie Hodges and Harrison Otis? are trying to do something, I dont know what. But I do know what makes Lib do so. She and Agnes are very much in love with Jo- . All fair play. We will see who comes out ahead. If they do (all right). March 16^th Jo came home from singing school with me -- -- . March 30^th Jo came home from singing school with me. Marves? with Allie first. We tryed to get away from them but could not, so came into the house and left them on the steps. They went off a riding afterwards. Jo and I went riding thursday. He goes west to night. Will not soon be forgotten by me. He has been sick which accounts for his not coming to see me before. I shall not soon forget about Marves? wiping my eyes for me while Jo was at the other side of the room and Allie plagueing him. But we both felt to (too) sober to laugh. While I know that all winter was only a rehersal of similar things, now the same things might be written of *Moses C-. While I care not for either of them, my heart says it is wrong but I continue to do so.

Editor's Note: Moses Cornell

Elihu Kirby House Part 2

Here is a picture of the house today.

Elihu Kirby House

This is the house that Mary grew up in. Elihu Kirby was her father, a shopkeeper in Henrietta. The house is believed to have been built around 1840. The picture was taken in 1930, so changes were probably made to it. Check out this link for more Elihu Kirby History. The original location for the house was on the corner of East Henrietta Road and Lehigh Station Road. It was moved in 1960 to Pittsford.

(isn't it pretty?)

September 28th 1858

Tuesday Home Sept 28^th 1858

I have been thinking of other day(s) again tonight. How often do my thoughts wander from the present to the past. I am ever thinking if I shall ever be as innocent and happy as I was when a child. But I reproch myself for saying so for have I not everything to make one happy that I can have but it is ever thus. We are ever looking back on bygone happiness with regrets or forward to some happier times yet to come ---- of thinking of the many happy day(s) now with us .Much happier we be were we ever thankful for the happiness that is now ours.

Harve Haseltine

I have been trying to find info on the names that Mary mentions often. The one that stands out most to me is the infamous Harve. Most of the info I have been able to find so far is on Harve's father Dr. Haseltine. (click the link for a bit a info).
Harve's full name is Harvey Brewster Haseltine. Harve married Sarah Louis Peck of Lima. They had 2 children Clara and McClary. McClary died soon after graduating medical school at the University of Pennsylvania.

September 27th 1858

Sept 27^th 1858 Home

I am almost ---- how much have I changed in the last four years. Four years ago I was fifteen, bashfull and I believe a warm hearted gril (girl) knowing little of gentlemen. Indeed when any one did come to see me I relied on ---- to entertain them. A year had not passed over my head when I had a fear. I did not incourage him for I cared not for him, yet I know that if I had so willed I could have been his wife. A few months more and another paid me attention but he met with as little incouragement. Then the winter after I was seventeen I had another I flirted with him and dismissed him. The next summer there was two who paid attention to me. One I loved but I found out all of his affairs and I could no longer respect him. Therefore my love took wings so by mutual consent. We agreed to be friends nothing more and a friend to him I shall always be for he has been a good friend to me. The other one I respected and when one night he told me he loved me I told him I loved him as a brother and asked him to let me be his sister again.  In the fall I flirted desperately with another. I have wronged him more than anyone else for I was never frank with him and I have carried it so far I know not how to rilease myself yet it must be done for I love him not and my dear parents would not consent. I am their young (youngest) and last. I must not give them cause for sorrow on any account. Yet again at the same time another told me he loved me but I have no cause for regrets there for I did not encourage him. Last Friday night another told me though (thought) a great deal of me and said he feared I loved many others better than I did him. But he could not help saying I was very dear to him. I told him and I spoke truely that I did not love anyone of those he mentioned. May I be forgiven if I have done wrong and I repeat to myself on how few of our days can we look without many regrets.

September 26th 1858

Sept 26^th 1858 Home

Once again after a long silence do I seat myself to commune with my old friend my Diary. I have wandered far away since I wrote last in these pages from my Home. Uncle Kirby gave me a invitation to accompany him and Allie down east so I have been to New York, Chatham? Canan? New Lebanon --- ---- had a very pleasant time but was glad to get back again. The Wednesday after we came back attended a suffolk School picnic at the Fair ground. Had a very pleasant time. Messers Decker, Hopkins and Mac Manns? spent the day talking to Allie and I. Two of them very pleasant fellows but J- and M- were very angry because we talked to them. But the next week we went down to the fair and finally induced them to recover their tempers so they waited on us altogether. Friday evening they came and asked us to attend Poters? Lecture before the teachers Association. Were very pleasant. I shall sometime remember what was said after we came home. Yet I cannot think of them but with regret for well do I feel my wickedness in doing as I do. I care not for the feeling of others at least I trifle with them for I do care for them for I regret it. Poor J- and M- I care not for either of you. Again will I give pain when I would give nought but pleasure. I will long remember our quarrell and what was said afterwards. I told nothing but the truth for I do not care anything for Jo Smith. Always have I regreted it when I flirted with anyone. Why do I still continue to do so? I resolve now I will not do it again.

 [After four years have elapsed I find myself doing the same thing I fear 1862 Jan]

July 25th 1858

July 25^th 1858 Home

Once again have I looked over my Diary but it does not seem to progress very rapidly for while I should be writing, I am looking over what I have written before. So I have made a great many good promises of writing some every day but I am very much afraid I shall not do so, I have been thinking of the good times we had last winter of the night down to Tattles? Where I danced til about three and then Jo made me promise not to dance any more and Jo’s going back to dance another set when Allie Morse? of and I went together and the night us four went over to Carries. I guess? I shant soon forget the buffalo skin ---- And again the night over to Pittsford and West Henrietta and the flirtation, I carried on down to Russells and my talk over to Quimby’s with the fellow that did not bring any girl, and two or three nights down to Helen Pikes room and one down to Anna Keyes, and the night we went serenading when we scared one young man so bad and the many many pleasant nights at singing school when somebody always came home with me. But I must write some letters so leaving the many pleasant remembrances called up I go to do my duty.

June 20th 1858

June 20^th 1858 Sunday evening

At ease ---- I sit down to write in my Diary. Looking back I see Monday Aug 10^th ---- Bell and I went up to the store scarce six months passed and she was laid in the silent tomb. I shall always remember her as one of the dearest friends of my youth. Poor Bell. But seventeen, handsome and talented you were taken away from us. It seems sad that one so young with all the hopes and aspirations of youth. Why was it that Our Heavenly Father took you now. Yet we should not ---- for we ----- be sure it is all for the best for He seeth not as we see.

May 31st 1858

May 31^st 1858 Henrietta Monday

The daylight has dawned and faded and I have again sit me down to wrote “----- Forget” yet I cannot add “et non forget” for time surely seemes to be a winged thing? which we cannot hold. I have been looking over my past writings tonight and I smile at my folly of a year ago. While I resolve to learn wisdom from the past to guide my future life yet still I wonder if in another year I will not be s—ling after this years folly. It is even thus we think we learn every year to be wiser than we were the last year yet I question if it would not be better if I were the unsuspecting girl of last. I know this has been a great change in me in one little short year, one year ago I gazed on everything through a rose tinted glass now I have learned to know things as they are! What has made this change the part? will tell. I have been tempted to tear out some of the leaves of my Diary, But have firmly resolved to let them remain as they are, truthfull and it is only myself I can blame. Lo they shall remain so that if I ever am tempted to fall into similar folly a glance over these pages will save me.                                                      

Picture of Mary

May 13th 1858

Henrietta May 1858 13th

I have been looking over what I have written in times gone by today, the first time for many months. Months which have brought joy and sorrow, joy for I have made many new acquaintances that I have learned to like. Some of them very much. Sorrow for in them I have lost two of my little nieces. Poor little Carrie and Lizzie. Do I wonder that I can but sit and look out of my chamber window and grow sad very very sad. Memory, fond memory loves to linger around those day’s when they sported in infancy glad and gay, and made the household glad and bright with their artless prattle and sunny laughter. It lingers around those dark dark day’s when we saw the rosy lifes grow pale, the lily upon the snowy? brow grow pailer and more heavenly beneath the sunny hair. We felt and knew that they must die. Oh those were dark dark days. We saw them place them in the little coffin. W---- their once buoyant forms in pure muslin and place the evergreen chaplet on their marble brows as if by their loved flowers we might call them back to life again. Then sadly we laid them to rest in the quite (quiet) graveyard. The winters snow falls lightly upon their pillow. The summers rain weeps over them But as we weep where we saw them resting in death embrace saw them lade in their final resting place The form we once so loved caresses us [no more] no many laughter ! No childish loving niece salutes us! Where rests the baby now? Cannot she hear us: Nay a niece? Oftentimes comes to us from the golden clouds at sunset and whispers softly “They have passed the dark waters of death. They have glided down its, blue, deep, waves in the swift canoe to the spirit land!” The firefly? Dances and the pale flower blossoms where once they sported They remain but the fair haired children who sported with them passed away! No longer they gather the spring flowers. But they have gone to another brighter better land! Where no sorrow comes! Where the flowers never fade. Where comes no slowing days or fitful winds sighing mournfully for faded joys. Where no tears ever flow. Where all is beautifull and bring and happy There, There! dweleth in joy those little ones you loved That once loved you would ye call them back  “Mourn not for the child from thy tenderness? Ere stain on its purity fell, To thy questioning heart Lo one answer from heaven Is it well with the child! It is well”

August 11th 1857

Thursday Aug 11^th 1857

I sit in my chamber that faces the oriental east the sun frost guilds as he rises from his early couch. The tall? locusts? sigh and moan fitfully in the dusky shades of gathering evetide and the sky is overcast with dark clouds. Without is gloom and mist. Within my breast throbs a sad heart swept by the fingers of the mighty past and as she casts her wand before me there rises the wind like form of other days with all thin --- joys and well remembered griefs. While each in chorus seems to say we bring but the memory of one short year of a twelve month quickly passed we gather around you and bid you look from the present to the past within this same window? And form resolves for the future look back only a year. I cover my eyes. I cant recall so many smiles and tears. Then there comes another picture. --- March with her childlike --- of boisterous winds and balmy zephyrs. Her sunny morning clear --- and cloudy nights and I am sitting at the window writing. Sometimes the tears drop on the paper for I am oppressed with fears. I am writing to one that then was very dear and gave me no cause to doubt his sincerity. Yet I am very sad as if coming events has cast their shadows darkly before them.  In a little and for a little while I again was blessed and happy then came the shock and we who once loved so fondly parted and the waters of mistrust arose and divided us and swallowed up our love and confidence. Oh bitterer waters ? stores? of bitter March on the shores of that dark gulf we both stand. Looking wistfully across longing again to be together sometimes the waters secead till there almost seems to be no gulf. Then some unfriendly hand touches anew the rock where dwells that hidden fountain then anew it gushes forth. In rain I stretch out my arms to cry, forgive, forget. Pride strikes them down again. And upsets the tiny boat ladened with forgiveness. And while I stand there half in tears I was softly beckoned away and ere I had wiped my tears I felt a manly arm around me which clasped me closely to his heart left on my lips warm kisses, wiped away my tears, and whispered to my heart the fondest words of love and hope, Then I laid my head down softly on that shoulder to dream a wild a thrilling dream of happiness and he murmured very softly as his eyes sought mine My Sister Dear. But ere its first extacy had passed I awoke and again I stood alone weary smiles? had sepperated as And I was left again in doubt. On how few days of our lives can we look with entire satisfaction. On how few without many regrets.  I regretted also those few short hours of love and joy And as I soon think of them  I would rather exchange those hours of thrilling extacy for the more tranquil quiet enjoyment of mere friends. For now that I have drank of that cup of joy how doubly weary seems the hours that slowly pass setting doubts and fears in firm reality that it was all a dream that shall never know a happy realization. All a dream. How like a knell it sounds to remind me that the world is sometimes false and fickle and that no tears of regret no smiles for its return? can ever recall it And again I returned to the home of my childhood and sat again after very short wanderings in this same window and pondered deeply in my heart for I again had given sorrow where I fain would have awoke joy. I had refused the hand of one. He was noble and good yet I could not  mock with bestowal of my hand what the heart could in no wise sanction. And so I sadly bade him forget. Oh I am blessed with love and friendship Why may I not rest all my hopes in heaven and live a happy blissful pilgrimage yes I am far from the --- of discordant. hate and enviousness  And yet I feel as if something was wanting

August 10th 1857

Monday Aug 10^th 1857

Bell Richardson came to call on me this morning and I went with her to send a circulur to Charlie Lindsay. Harve directed it for her and I had a very pleasant talk with him. He was pleased but showed no disposision to be anything but friendly. I went over to Joseys ? to tea. Sarah Calkins came in and we had a very pleasant talk. I am friends with All the world now. Although I am not so happy as I was three or four weeks ago for causes I will not explain here but in after years may I remember it and learn wisdom from my foolishness. I know it to be foolish but cannot help it at once. On how few days of our lives can we look with future satisfaction. On how few without many regrets. I regretted also those few short hours of love and joy And as I now think of them I would rather exchange those hours of thrilling extacy for the mere tranquil quite enjoyment of mere friendship.

August 9th 1857

Sunday Aug 9^th 1857

Again hath w--- the blessed sabbath day the farmer hath left the fields of r--- grain his flocks and herds and now sits in the shady porch to read the lesson of the day. Nature seemes to have grown still and only breaths in softest sighs. We went to church listen to a sermon by S. W. Struter and a very good one. After tea I dressed myself as Harve told me he would come to see me but like all men he was false.  I am not subject to the blues yet I had a severe attack this evening. But I said away with melancholy  and musing? ore blighted hopes as I realy wanted to see him very much. I wonder if Millie S. told me the truth and he is realy engaged to Sarah P. and hes been with so many others. I can hardly believe he is so deceitful so I will say “Let us think of a man as we find him” and trust him still although I would wish he did not go to see Sarah but I will hope for a better time coming

August 8th 1857

Saturday Aug 8^th 1857

Bright sunny yet cool morning. How busy we all are. Fingers keep time with the happiness of our hearts this afternoon. Harve walked some with me from the store. We spent a most delightful hour of ‘sly’ flirtation all to be forgotten in a day. Mayhap their memories may linger a w---, All this is not what my soul panteth for. It cannot satisfy the longing of my heart to be loved. Flirtations are an empty farce, a romance which for a moment delights, then leaves an empty, unfilled aching void. Sweetmeats which for a moment in the month are most pleasing but afterwards bring regrets.

[I realise it more than ever now. Jan 1^st 1862]

August 8th, 1856

My Diary                                                            

August 8^th 1856- Henrietta

Were circumstances different, I would have commenced in the first of the month. But in anticipation of a happy time of many hours not all misspent, I have seated myself to trace the very incidents which have first occurred, lasting though faulty it be in many respects yet truthfully describing every little incident of joy or sorrow pleasure or pain. I may in future time read oer their pages learning from my former folly. Future wisdom, living oer again past joys and days long fled. Recalling many a half forgoten ----- thin fading from memory’s page. I may softly guild life's path with a sweet memory of “joys that we’ve tasted” and chase away the gathering mists of snow with smiles of other days with thoughts like there past and future softly blending. I dedicate my Diary.

                To Memories of other days,

Mary E. Kirby