It is a week since I have written anything about my doings.
It has been a monotonous lonesome week. There has been nobody to see us but once
when Decker called. Moses is mad and of course Jo S- comes no more. I am almost
inclined to ask him to come again but I cannot but call it a weakness for such
a meeting could but be painful to us both. It would be doing him an injustice
that I would not do to him for I feel a greater friendship for him that anyone
else. Yet I can never be anything but a friend to him for I have a greater
duty to preform to my parents. I am their youngest and only remaining child and
I shall never marry without their free and full consent. Yet in the time I have
been with him I have learned to respect- I had almost said love him, though I
should not say that for I never did love.
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